Though messaging a friend on FaceBook, I was challenged to really think about a job that I want. The following is basically my response to him.
I really do want this job. I know that God created me for full-time ministry. I feel as prepared and equipped (as best as I can as a rookie) to handle a challenge like this job would be. It has been on my mind a lot and I can't shake it. Am I still looking for other jobs, absolutely! Am I trying to figure out what my life in that town would look like, yes. I think my year long problem has been focusing on one church at a time too quickly.
Is God leading me to that church? (Thought Process of sorts)
1. God is not leading me away from it.
2. The size and demographics interest me. I feel that I would fit well in such a town.
3. I see that I will have a geographically close social (support) network, independent of the church consisting of close friends, former college classmates and the chance to see many others I know when they visit the area.
4. From the discussions that the senior pastor and I have had, he seems like the kind of leader that I would want to serve with and emulate someday. Student Ministries are a major priority for him and he would fight for the youth pastor when nessecessary. He wants to develop a person into an effective minister as that person develops an effective student ministry.
5. Unlike other times and locations, my parents are fully supportive of me relocating to that area. They agree that its my kind of town. They are okay with the distance from home. And they understand that something in my life needs to change for the positve (i.e. find the position that I want and live on my own.)
6. I am focused enough on this position to make this list.
Is God leading me that town? I feel so. Is God CALLING me to that church. Not sure at this point, but I can say it would make sense to me.
Ah, the key is "it would make sense to me," God knows more about the situation on both sides of the two parties, being myself and the church, trying to join. Green lights are going to shine. Caution signs will appear. Or Red Flags will be thrown if that is what God needs to do. Many times when humans think something makes sense, God does something completely different
I have a weird thought. I am not doubting prayer here, I am doubting action or inaction. Prayer is a good thing, but could there be a point where people are so focused on praying that they miss a point where they should have began the doing. I am not sure how that fits here. I guess I am affraid it could get to a point where people are using prayer as an excuse to put off decision making.
If this comes together and I start plotting my move to that region of the country and I am going to be excited? Yes, but scarred of the tasks and life changes that lay ahead of me. If this falls apart from my perspective am I going to be disappointed? Yes, for an undetermined period of time, forgive my human nature, I feel that I have invested quite a bit so far. HOWEVER, I WILL BE EXCITED as well. Maybe not right away, but I will be excited when I realize God's providence in this situation.
I have faced a fair share of rejection this year and if this is one more so be it. It will not diminish my calling. It will not strain my relationship with my Lord! Ministry is not supposed to be easy, I am just experiencing that a bit early with not having ease finding a job.
This year (or even two if need be ) is in no way harming what ministry I might have in time. In the year of searching I have had many experiences that will benefit ministry. Another plus I have had the chance to become a little more financially stable after coming out of a major financial-stress factor time (one of the many great things that come with going to college) .
Keep praying for me. Thank you for reading this rant of sorts and a special thanks to Kevin for reading it twice.
final note: when going out to eat with friends make sure you ask for separate checks, it makes things much easier at the end.
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